Standing on the Promises of God, Before and After Marriage
The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand. Psalms 37:23-24
Anxiety is real. Worry is constant. We wake up to new problems every day and some problems we went to sleep with only to find out the worry about the problem grew bigger overnight. When you are married or one day desire to be; the hope is that your relationship will be lasting and able to withstand any trial or setback. Well then why do studies show that the average length of marriage prior to divorce is eight years?
I was that single girl who desired a God Chosen husband and that is what led me to write parables related to this topic, while using my single time to fall more in love with Jesus (The Parable Girl). Fast Forward to the present, my husband and I have made it to our seventh year. I have heard from married couples before and after I got married that marriage is not for wimps. I hands down attest to this statement! Marriage is hard, sometimes head butting, gut wrenching, bone trembling hard. It is not like any fairy tale I watched growing up. It is literally two people coming together to be one with a gazillion decisions to make.
Ahem, I gathered some wisdom along the way and here are some tips my married and single friends that I learned and am currently using. Seven hardcore truths to help raise the bar in our marriages and pre marriages! Standing on the promises of God makes the anxiety dissipate and worry is subdued because the problems are taken to the only one who understands it all. I hope you stand with me as I stand with you and your marriage or future marriage!
Put God First
This is obviously a given. If you are a Christian this should be familiar to you. Matthew 22: 37-38 Jesus states, Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. We are to put God first in everything that we do, and our marriage is no exception. God wants it to be a triangular relationship. If we put God at the top we will get his blessing, we will get His attention, we will get His affection, we will get His grace and His approval; God is delighted in our dedication to Him. God is the one who created marriages so he wants to be a part of our union and no one or nothing else should take His place or counsel.
2. Believe What God Says
It is also a given that we should individually have our own relationship with the Lord. Mom, Dad nor Pastor is married to your spouse you are. It is imperative that each spouse seek God independently and on behalf of their spouse. When you are a born-again Christian that makes you a believer and it is much easier to be on the same page when you both believe that Jesus is Lord and He not you or your spouse gets the final say. It teaches both the husband and the wife to be humble, to shut up not shut down and listen to the master. If your spouse is not a believer, how can they stand on anything that God has promised? Even so, our God is a miracle maker and there is still hope even with the unsaved.
Crucial Tip: If you are single think twice about marrying someone who is not a believer everything will be double the trouble. It’s like speaking two different spiritual languages.
If you want to become a believer: John 3:16-17 states, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” God wants everyone to be saved but of course it is free will.
Romans 10:9 also says, if you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord’, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
So, couples must believe together in the same God and believe His promises He has declared over their lives. Our God is a manifesting God that made us in His image. He has made our minds and our mouthpiece with authority and that is why we must watch what we say and be mindful what we profess over each other. But that is a whole section in itself! Affirm life, joy, and peace for your spouse and trust in its manifestation.
3. Live Faith, Speak Faith
Hebrews 11:1 For Faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things unseen. What does that mean? We have to believe for things we don’t see YET. The keyword is yet meaning it will come to pass. Our words and thoughts have to line up to what we are praying for. But if we walk around like we have no hope, what are we praying for? We must speak words of encouragement to others and ourselves even when our relationship is not picture perfect but especially facing the hardest times.
Illustration by Jesus_is_our_HOPE
4. Surround Yourself with Affirming People
In your relationship with one another have the same mindset as Christ Jesus Philippians 2:5
Last thing your marriage needs is negative people surrounding it. Negative single people and negative married people will not help your marriage. When couples get past arguments and reconcile the last thing, we need are people reminding us of what went wrong and speaking poorly about our spouse. Since the spouses are one flesh what rubs off on one partner will get on the other partner. We don’t need bad residue of icky personalities and spirits tainting our marriage and the goals we set to get better. People around your marriage should be positive and supportive unless there are reports of abuse then that’s different. Otherwise guard your marriage and the sacredness of your promises made to each other from other ears and mouths. Protecting your marriage amplifies the voice of God and diminishes the voice of man.
5. Forgive
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other. Ephesians 4:32
Simply put, if you will not forgive, it will not last. Holding on to grudges is not healthy for you and certainly not healthy when it comes to building trust with your partner. If God can forgive us for all the wrongs we do every single day, who are we to not forgive? If Jesus could forgive us for all our dirty sins, including sins of the mind and heart why can’t we let things go? It’s not just liberating for our relationships but for our mental and physical health as well. Research indicates that forgiveness can reduce the risk of heart attacks, enhance cholesterol levels and sleep quality, and lower anxiety and stress levels. All of this unforgiveness and resentment is sending us to an early grave. Plus, what can God do with a heart so hardened? Can God use that kind of heart? No! God can only use a heart that is willing to be cleansed and renewed. We all need to pray for a pliable heart for the benefit of our families, our neighbors and communities as well as ourselves.
6. Wait on God
These scriptures are too good, so I had to share them both!
The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him. Lamentations 3:25
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14
I believe God sees us how we see our own children, impatient and downright pushy at times. Our children don’t like to wait for anything! Whether it is waiting in line, waiting for their birthday or Christmas or just waiting to eat a snack! Why is that? Well, why can’t we wait on God? Based on what he has done in the past for us we know he will come through right…but when? and how? We need to know so we keep praying for the same thing even though God heard us the first time. But still! we respond …. just be still no matter how hard it is. He will move in your favor, keep honoring Him and holding His hand. God will make a move that will blow your mind. Hasn’t He done that before?
7. Delight in Good
But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.
1 Timothy 6-7
Yes, we are supposed to delight in the Lord and have fun doing it. Laugh, have a good time. Why do so many Christians walk around upset and then say they are blessed? Be what you say because your light is a reflection of its source. Let’s represent Christ well and stop walking around with heavy hearts and dimmed lights. Who in the world would like to associate with that! Every day is a celebration when you wake up and have the activity of your limbs, your right mind, free will and the opportunity to get it right. Who can we help? Who can we uplift? How can we share the goodness of God in our own unique way? Let’s go and make disciples for Christ whether we are single or married.
That is how we stand strong on the promises of God by holding God’s hand all the way. In a relationship God walks in the middle and we hold his hand on each side. What a pretty picture that we all should desire.
