Christian Soliloquy

THE CHURCH IS ME.

I will not write you a sad song. I will not preach to you a long sermon.Just one soliloquy about a church girl age nine, a story of soul simplicity.

SOUL yearning...

She wanted to know what God's voice sounds like. Tree whispers? Thunder rolling? Bike bells? or just Silence? They said He speaks to her heart but how can she tell the difference between the voice of a child and the voice of AL Mighty God, the Creator of Color the Master of Art?

Church was all she knew. Weekends spent sitting on the front pew. Watching. Waiting for Him to move.  She had questions, questions..1st Sunday.. time for communion..was that really the Savior's blood she was drinking? They said Jesus was alive. Would drinking His blood give her eternal life?

All around, church boys kissed church girls and said to each other "You're so fine!" But behind stained glass doors she fantasized what if the drummer man were mine?

So sorry Lord! she knelt down and confessed.

I repent..I repent..I am a hot mess!

SunDay turned to night she laid down her head beside the altar to rest. Mom and Auntie stayed later than the Pastor well well well our blessing must be waiting in the hereafter!

Thoughts she dared not ask pressed against her temple, ..the stress of waiting was giving her a premature pimple. Are you all ready to leave?? I have some homework to finish. The clock struck ten .  . Her patience diminished. She was left alone with her thoughts that came in dozens one of which was "The only boys here are my cousins! I can't catch a break! Will I ever find a mate?"

Only God knows..funny she felt His tingling presence from her head down to her toes.

Now the nine year old is twenty nine a little more patient a little more refined.

Still a church girl nothing really has changed except now I hear His voice and He has taught me so many things.

Now I know He doesn't just linger above.  He's with me, in every part of me and everywhere I go... It feels good to be loved- not the "church girl" but me... makes me easy to love... easy to be free! No longer do I lay in the building on a hill. SunDays turn into nights...no nodding off no NyQuil's just long hot bubble baths in the sanctuary..  wait a minute where's the key? Right I forgot... the church is Me.

on Christ the solid Rock I stand...